


Love for Lexa.

by Aden_Stark



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-06-25 19:28:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15647415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aden_Stark/pseuds/Aden_Stark
Summary: Decided to put this story back up.It was originally called Love is weakness, but I decided to make a new story about that





	1. Chapter 1

Lexa could feel her heart vibrating her whole body, adrenaline in full force as she stabbed her final competitor in the heart. Her friend, she just killed her friend... and now she had just became Heda.

Sweating and panting, Lexa suddenly awakes. She could still hear the crowds roar as she won the conclave, Lexa was proud, but sickened that she had just killed all of her childhood friends. They were like family. She had trained with them, played with them, and now they were all dead, except Lexa, Realization hit her, Now she was all alone, Well except Luna, but she would’ve been hunted down and killed for fleeing the Conclave.

Lexa knew she would never forget killing her friends,the nightbloods she trained with, they were like family and she killed them. She did what she had to do, Lexa knew that but it still haunted her. They died a warriors death, but Lexa did not. She had to live and remember all the mistakes she had made.  
Could she do what she had to do now? Could she kill the one she loved? Love is weakness, and Lexa couldn’t afford to be weak, they were at war. But deep down she knew she wouldn’t be able to kill her, she loved her.

Lexa remembered leaving Clarke with the mountain men, and she still remembered how alone she felt when she left Clarke there to die. She felt it the day she killed her nightblood friends too, that feeling never really did go away, not until she met Costia. And because of Lexa , Costia was tortured and killed. She never felt happy after and she never let herself get too close to anyone, at least not until she met Clarke.

Lexa knew she was to weak to kill Clarke. In her mind their deaths played out and all she could do was tell herself that Love is a weakness and repeat it like a mantra until she was numb inside. This way she could continue to be strong. She sat on her bed quietly crying, when suddenly she heard a voice.

“ Heda, are you okay?”Aden asks.

Lexa knew she couldn’t explain this to Aden, he wouldn’t understand and he didn’t need to know. Lexa knew that he too would have to kill his friends in order to become Heda. Lexa knew Aden would even have to kill the one he loved. Aden didn’t need to be distracted, he needed to keep training. He needed to win the conclave, in case she died... when she died. For all Lexa knew, this next battle could be her last.

“Heda, what is wrong, you look ill”  


Lexa realized Aden was still staring at her. “Aden, time for training, Get ready”.


	2. Chapter 2

Aden was one of the best noviciates and Lexa’s favourite. That didn’t stop the rest of the noviciates from trying their hardest. Aden knew what he had to do, if Lexa were to die in this next battle, he would have to kill the noviciates to become the new Heda.

He didn’t know if he could kill the people he had trained with all his life. His friends and...and... he couldn’t think about it. It was too painful and he felt himself get hit.

“ADEN”, FOCUS”, Lexa screamed, Aden got up to his feet and looked at Lexa, he could see the anger in her face, But he saw the worry in her as well. She hid her emotions well but Aden knew her, she was like a mother to him. To all of them.

Aden knew the importance of training and staying on task, he couldn’t afford to look weak in front of the others, so he did his best to stay focused during the rest of training. It was hard though, he felt something bad coming, he couldn’t pinpoint why he felt this way though.

“Aden, we need to talk please”, Lexa whispered to him after training was done.

Aden could feel his insides curl. Was it possible Lexa knew how weak he was? That he loved another noviciate? If she knew, would she make him kill... Aden couldn’t think about it. he didn’t want to lose his best friend; The one he loved.

“Aden, relax you are not in trouble”. Aden could see the concern in her face, it frightened him.

“Sorry, Heda I was not focusing on training as I should have been this morning”.

“It’s ok Aden, That isn’t what I asked to talk to you about. I need to talk to you... about him...”


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I wish there was a different way, Aden. For you to be with him and not have to kill him. But if you are to be Heda after me, you must do what is needed.

Love is a weakness. But I remember what it is like to be loved, and you aren’t Heda yet, you don’t have to always be strong all the time, not like I do.

I loved someone once, I was the happiest person then, but my love for her got her murdered. I was Heda, and people used her to get to me.

Live right now in the moment, but once you become Heda any weakness will be used against you. 

Don’t let my mistake become yours. You are my chosen, you need to focus and stay strong, any weakness you may have, never show it. But don’t ignore it, look it straight in the eye and conquer that weakness, make it your strength.

“Yes, Heda”

And Heda... you love Clarke don’t you, just like I love Jacob, right? I hear you say her name in your sleep. Why does love have to be a weakness?   
Why can’t it be made into a strength? Are you afraid that Clarke will be hurt like the other one you loved?

“Aden, do not ask me about this again, do you understand”?

Aden could see pain in her eyes, he didn’t mean to hurt her, “Yes Heda”.

Lexa regretted her conversation with Aden, his words stung her.

“Why can’t love be a strength”?

She wanted to feel something other than all this guilt, despair and anger .She felt it all the time. Always wanting revenge for a murdered clan member, always at war. Always death followed by more death. Aden must be strong, he will make a better commander than I ever could be, he can bring peace to us all, he can do what I could not.


End file.
